Tuesday, December 27, 2011

16 weeks pregnant - a little past due!

We are 16 weeks pregnant, and that much closer to our 1/2 way point; although, maybe this is our halfway point!?!  One will have to wait and see :)  - Actually, now that I do the math...I'm not ready for this to be our halfway point!

This post is a sad post, and I have hesitated writing it...
This past week my good friend (who was also pregnant with twins) found out that her sweet angels did not make it :(  They were not growing fast enough.  Our hearts ACHE for this family, and I pray to God that He will help these wonderful people get through this difficult time.  I honestly have no words, no experience, and no idea what to possibly say in a situation like this.  This couple is so strong and connected to each other, that I know with all my heart they will get through this difficult time.

My initial reaction to the news broke me into tears.  There were so many thoughts going through my head.  How horrible I felt for the couple - why would anyone have to experience such a loss is far beyond me.  I keep trying to tell myself that this is for the best - God has a plan!

Then my thoughts turned into worry - what about us?  We are having twins.  We are at a risk - are our babies okay?  I battled these thoughts for the next day, and I felt horrible having them.  I felt selfish - how could I be having these thoughts when my good friend is experiencing so much pain?  Cori, stop thinking this way...these are two totally different pregnancies, two totally different situations - stop!

I talked with several people very close to me, and it was helpful to know that I wasn't losing my mind. Having these thoughts is very normal - especially when it happens to someone close to you.

So, I was told to come in during my Dr.'s lunch hour the next day to listen to heart beats.  Wow - what a gift!  So the very next day, during Christmas celebrations at school, I went, ALONE, to the Dr.  I love my Dr. so I knew I would be in good hands if things were wrong...

I figured we would just be listening to their heart beats and it would only take a few minutes...NOPE.  She had pulled out the Ultra Sound machine - we were looking at babies :)

Happy, healthy, growing, fast heart beats!  Everything  :)  THANK YOU LORD!  I couldn't help but touch the screen which was showing our babies, crying, smiling, thanking God for everything in my life!   Everything else didn't seem like such a big deal anymore...


So, now I was stuck with going back to work, beside myself excited and happy, but facing a very sad group of friends who were mourning with our dear friend.  I shared the joy and pictures FIRST with Josh! Who all along knew everything was going to be okay!  Then I shared it with my administrator (her and I had a nice long chat the day before and she gave me the permission to leave!), and then I headed back to my room, with a smile ALL OVER my heart!

I absolutely LOVE these next two pictures :)  They are excellent profiles of both babies - and BOTH babies are waving :)  Baby B is SO CLEAR!  You can even see his/her rib cage :)  I LOVE these two pictures!

Our babies are the size of a grapefruit.  They were both waving to me during the ultra sound, telling me that everything is going to be okay, that they are okay!  My stomach is getting so much bigger.  I swear, I woke up Christmas morning and I was doubled in size!  Straight up maternity pants from here on out (and the new SWEET MN Gopher sweatpants that my parents gave me!!!)

Notice I am wearing the SAME thing as last week!  Ah - some things will never change on a day off :)

If you haven't done so already, count your blessings.  Whether you've experienced a loss or gain, sadness or joy, count your blessings...for sometimes we forget how very lucky we are to have the PEOPLE that we have in our lives!

1 comment:

  1. Aww I'm so sorry about your friends' loss. That is a horrible thing to experience. Your friends are right though, how you are feeling is normal. It hits so close to home and especially being twins how can it not hit a little harder even? I'm glad you got to do an ultrasound and see their little faces for a little reassurance!


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